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By the Rest in Blooms Editorial Team
Choosing flowers during a time of loss is a quiet, practical task carried out with deep feeling. Lilies are a popular choice for sympathy and funeral arrangements because of their clean lines and variety of forms. This guide explains how to select lilies that honor the person who died while fitting the venue, honoring family wishes, and respecting practical concerns like scent and scale.
When people say "lilies," they may mean very different flowers. The three most common styles used in sympathy work each create a distinct look, so it helps to consider fragrance, scale, color, and where the arrangement will be displayed.
Oriental lilies are known for their large blooms, tall stems, and strong sweet fragrance once they open. They are commonly available in white, pink, deep rose, and occasional bi-color varieties. Because they create generous visual impact, they work beautifully in casket sprays, large standing sprays, and prominent altar arrangements. Florists often pair them with roses, hydrangea, or soft greenery to create a full, traditional tribute. If you want a dramatic, enveloping floral presence, Oriental lilies are often the most fitting choice; however, it is wise to confirm that fragrance will not be a concern for the family or venue.
Asiatic lilies usually have a mild fragrance or no noticeable fragrance at all. Their blooms are medium to large, upright, and a little more structured in appearance than Oriental lilies. They are available in a broad range of colors, including white, yellow, orange, red, pink, and bi-colors. This makes them especially versatile for mixed sympathy bouquets, smaller sprays, and vase arrangements. Combined with structured greenery, carnations, or orchids, Asiatic lilies can create a contemporary, composed look that is easier to place in a family home, a smaller chapel, or a more intimate service.
Calla-style designs use Zantedeschia, often called calla lilies, for their sleek, funnel-shaped blooms and naturally minimalist appearance. They tend to have little to no fragrance and are available in white, cream, burgundy, purple, pink, and yellow. Because their form is so distinctive, they are often used with simple foliage or as a focused design element rather than in a densely mixed arrangement. Calla-style lilies are especially well suited to modern easel sprays, elegant vase arrangements, chapel displays, and reception-table flowers. They are a thoughtful option when the family prefers an understated, contemporary tribute.
If fragrance is a concern, Asiatic or calla-style lilies are often the quieter choices. If the service calls for a fuller and more traditional floral statement, Oriental lilies can create that sense of scale and presence.
Scent: Some lilies, particularly Oriental varieties, can be strongly fragrant once open. If the family, clergy, or venue has mentioned fragrance sensitivity, or if you expect many people with respiratory sensitivity, ask before choosing a highly scented arrangement. A brief call to the funeral home or a family member can avoid discomfort. Many families prefer milder options or arrangements where the blooms are kept slightly closed to minimize scent during services.
Scale: Think about the room and the service format. A small viewing room or a home wake may be overwhelmed by a large casket spray. Conversely, a large church or funeral hall can make small table arrangements look lost. Measure the space if possible—or describe the venue to your florist so they can recommend appropriate sizes.
Color: Color choice often reflects personal style, cultural practices, or the tone the family wants to set. Whites and creams read as calm and restrained; soft pastels can feel gentle; deeper hues can be warm and rich. Avoid assuming a single, universal meaning for any color. When in doubt, ask the family if they have a color preference or want something that references the deceased’s favorite colors.
Design pairing: Lilies look different depending on what you pair with them. Oriental lilies paired with soft greenery and roses create a traditional, lush tribute; Asiatic lilies with architectural foliage lean more contemporary; calla-style arrangements emphasize form and simplicity. Think about whether the tribute should feel modern, traditional, exuberant, or minimalist.
Always check the venue’s policies—some churches and chapels have guidelines about placement, size, or types of displays. If you’re delivering to a family home, consider what will be manageable for them after the service.
If you suspect fragrance sensitivity, make a quick check with the funeral director or a close family member. Use plain language: “Are there any fragrance sensitivities we should be aware of?” Families often appreciate being asked directly because it shows care for attendees’ comfort. If a sensitivity exists, steer toward Asiatic or calla-style lilies, or request arrangements where most blooms remain closed for the service.
If you’d like to browse options gently, explore sympathy lily arrangements that show common styles and sizes families choose for different settings. For a quiet, understated delivery to the family home, simple vase pieces can balance beauty and ease.
If you want a modern look that emphasizes shape and minimalism, browse contemporary funeral flower designs with calla-inspired forms or a few structured stems. For a lush, traditional presence at the front of a service, arrangements built around full Oriental blooms can be a fitting choice.
For immediate needs or guidance on size and placement, the funeral director or your florist can recommend specifics based on the time and location of the service. You can also view standing sprays and casket flower options when comparing arrangements for a larger service.
Example 1 — Short and quiet: I am holding you close in my thoughts as you grieve. May these lilies bring a small measure of peace.
Example 2 — Personal memory included: I will always remember [Name]’s quiet kindness. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
Example 3 — For a colleague or acquaintance: With sympathy for your loss. Our thoughts are with you and your family today.
These examples can be adjusted to add a personal memory or a specific offer of help (meals, errands, calls) if you feel that is appropriate.
Choosing lilies for a funeral is an act of respect and care. By considering scent, scale, color, and placement—and by checking the venue or family preferences when fragrance sensitivity might be an issue—you can select a tribute that feels appropriate and comforting. Take your time with the decision if you can; even a small, well-chosen arrangement can convey a great deal of sympathy. If you would like to see examples or discuss size and placement, the team can help you find an arrangement that suits the service and honors the person who died.
With seamless coordination and trusted local florists, we ensure every tribute is thoughtfully crafted and delivered with care—right where it’s needed, when it matters most.